He always said I’d hit the ground running if I’d just fucking lift my head and stop peering down towards the ground. With gaze firmly focussed on the horizon now, perhaps into the sky, I am excelling. It’s a superb and exhilarating feeling to excel at one’s craft, and to have support and celebration behind you, it makes the experience even more worthwhile. It’s a win/win situation. The client is happy, the figures are happy, the boss is happy and I am happy.
Sure there is a marked difference in my approach and view of my position as I climb up the hierarchy, but this attitudal fruition reciprocates itself. That’s the beauty of the scenario. Like some kinda of beautiful exponential fucked up pyramid scheme, the shit just gets better and better.
In the grand scheme of things, I’m not earning big bucks or have a super job. I work fucking hard, this ain’t no 9-5 deal and I’m probably renumerated less than a chode behind the grills at HJ’s. I enjoy it, it makes me feel good when it’s going well and the fuckers are sending me to Vanuatu for the weekend next. Suck on that shit.
The solidarity movement towards inner peace is strong with this one. I got over all that self actualisation business, I think it was brilliant at the time and put me in good stead. However shedding all those fucked up conventions was liberating and was a real boost. It helped me understand and appreciate how shit works and gave me a strength that I needed. Derived from the era of isolation over in .eu, it was a basis to live from. But you can’t keep on like that, and the acceptance of change was one of the major elements of my belief structure of the time. A forward movement to somewhere unknown, but of course a beneficial revolution.
I can’t help thinking that whilst I’m becoming less and less like myself in one regard, but the new person that accepts me with open arms and warm esteem is the person I justly am. I never say I hated my person, but there was always a significantly low level of feeling good about who I was. The catalyst to do something about it. It’s copasetic to feel that your demeanour and conduct exudes a style and finesse second to that of some luscious French proverb.
Reverting back to the whole self reciprocating esteem modal, naturally this implores the victim to indulge in passions. Doing what one wants, which in terms of the nature of the beast, feeds back into itself to boost every other facet of the life it’s perpetuating. Well that’s my deep excuse and lead into the reason why I’m midway through buying a new car. Suzuki Ignis Sport. Midway, because there are a few items that need to be addressed, but its pretty exciting and we’re over some of the major hurdles. Should come through in the next week or so. Hopefully before I set off to Vanuatu.
Oh, and RIP Hunter S. Thompson. I think the real reason for him topping himself was because he found out I lost my pair of aviators.
hahah fucking Vanuatu, and I’m going there. Mad.
Vascotia - Calibro (Sonicvibe Remix)